have you ever been accused of being all of the above to the life of another being? i have, and it's not something to be proud about. sometimes my sharp tongue and overexpressive self gets me into trouble. maybe my previous entry has something to do about this.

come to think of it...was i judgemental, or was i dipping my fingers into something i should not meddle with? much as i want to deny it, my basic reaction as a bestfriend ruled over everything else. and i wonder, maybe, just maybe this time i went too far.

with all the comments thrown at me, the most hurtful part was being accused of biting the hands of the one who feeds me. i wouldn't get into details but shouldn't helping mean not counting and expecting anything in return? now i'm thinking why not name your price and i will pay you for all the inconvenience my family has caused you in the past?

its just so easy for you to say what's on your mind, but have you ever thought why all these are happening? somewhere, somehow, someone started the fire and it definitely wasn't me. if you have not been so much as flaunted your infidelity, it would have been a much silent storm than the one you are going through now.

i wouldn't want to add fuel to the fire, so i will let these accusations pass. my dear friend is suffering enough in silence and these are petty things that i can absorb alone. and remember the moment you have said things and accused people of in anger - they are all pointing back at you.

the storm has passed. at least i can speak for myself. i've said my piece. and i believe i have sent my message across. done deal. that is as long as my bestfriend don't wake me up in the morning crying again. hehehe

well, so much has been going on. aside from the frequent doctor visits, lab tests and what nots...my critical office project is almost on a go-live status. we are already in the cutover stage. well, everything will be validated and verified before the month end book closes. and as long as all levels of recon will encounter no problems then i think i am almost done here.

another update, i had my hair cut short and had it dyed as well. i'm now sporting a bob cut ala greta style. no regrets. i feel good abt my new hairstyle. i'm proud of myself. for being able to transform to a better looking, more confident and very behave person. hehehe go figure

unbelievable, its been three years. checked on blog archives just to refresh my memory. and until now i tried to read between the lines, like solving a puzzle, why things came to be. amazing to still feel a pang of pain inside while i went through the pages. at least now there are no more tears. it was not for me. i deserved something better and i learned my lesson well. one-way streets were never the right way to go. cause when you get lost there's no turning back.

no closure - i guess that's what i need. things were never made clear to me. i never felt so small in my life, so insignificant. not that the past still matters to me, i have learned the art of keeping myself detached, at arms length and make sure i never make the same mistake again. last december was a perfect example, that no matter what happens i can manage not to start the flame.

hmmmm maybe after a few more years. i will learn to forget how it felt.

lumipas man ang gabi

at sumikat man ng huli ang araw

madilim man o maliwanag

ika'y mamahalin hanggang may bukas

 

dumaan man ang bagyo

umulan man at umaraw

may kalungkutan man na dala ng masamang panahon

ika'y mamahalin hanggang may bukas

 

saktan man ang puso

ng matatalim na salita

di man maintindihan ang mga ikinikilos

tandaan ika'y mamahalin hanggang may bukas

 

milyon milyong milya man ang layo natin

di man kaya hawakan ang kamay upang mapawi ang lungkot

masaya man o di magkaintindihan

pangako ika'y mamahalin hanggang may bukas

 

pero bukas ba, nariyan ka pa rin at mamahalin ako?

got this nice text message today, just want to share it with you:

1) if you want your dreams to come true, DON'T OVERSLEEP. (guilty ako dito sigh)

2) the best vitamin for making friends? B1

3) 10 commandments are not multiple choices

4) ideas won't work unless YOU do

5) one who lacks the courage to start has already finished

6) a turtle makes progress only when it sticks its head out

7) the smallest Good Deed is better than the grandest intention

8) one thing you can't recycle is WASTED TIME

9) one thing you can give and still keep is your WORD.