cinderellaareus

It's Dad's birthday today. Kasalukuyan siyang nasa Doctor, accompanying Mom in her check-up. 

Nag order na kami ng palabok. Then, we will order pizza too. Mom's still recovering from hypertension, so wala munang cake, I guess.

I left home kahapon. I am actually scheduled my cats for kapon. I felt bad for cancelling last minute. Pero kasi, may medical pa ko sa Friday, which means, I will need to wake up super early, tapos, need ko pa painumin ng gamot yung cats if tinuloy ko yung kapon. I told the vet we will have it on Monday nalang. By then, I only have NBI left on my pre-emp reqts. Malapit lang naman ang NBI samin, tas 12nn pa schedule ko. I'll still have time na painumin ng gamot ang cats. Have you tried giving meds to cats? It require some god-tier strength and patience, Man. 

So, yeah, I left home kahapon to send bank forms via LBC. Though I experienced working from home nung pandemic, first time kong mag WFH right from the start. Lahat online. And at times na need ng physical documents, need namin i-LBC. Still, need parin ng presence yung medical, of course. 

After going to the bank, then sa LBC, dumerecho ako sa alma matter to get TOR. Epic yung haba ng pila. Nostalgic, kasi nung nag eenrol ako every sem nung college, mas mahaba pa dun yung pila, at nasa labas pa kami at walang bubong. Swerte pa nga ang mga kabataan.

Nagkachikahan kami nung mga katabi ko sa pila. I must have been human-conversation deprived, I really enjoyed talking with the kiddo. Too bad, he needed to leave kasi hindi pala nya pwede i-claim TOR nya without the claim stub. Ang bait lang kasi he included my case when he asked the SA about the process.

That was the guy on my left. The guy on my right was busy playing with his phone. But from time to time, sumasali sya sa usapan namin ng guy on the left. The guy on the right was tall, dark, and, I must say also quite a looker. Naisip ko lang na if na experience ko ang teenage pregnancy, siguro e ganun na ang edad ng anak ko by now. LOL.

Dang, we're getting old. But that's fine. I love being like this. Nung kabataan ko kasi, masyado akong awkward at mahiyain. I'm so much more confident now. So much braver. More free. I love this version of me better.

I still need to go back to the University by August 26. May work na ko non. Since kaka start ko lang, malamang, walang bayad kung mag-aabsent ako. I am trying to ask Kuya Rodel to get my TOR for me. Sa Manila lang kasi sila nakatira, and they also have house in Bulacan, and he goes to Bulacan from time to time. He's my Aunt's stepson. Sana pumayag sya. If not, Mom plans to go with Dad. But I'm worried kasi ang lalaki ng mga sasakyan dun, and mabagal tumawid yung tatay ko. Maybe I can just get a half day. Bahala na.

Medical ko sa Friday. Hubaran na naman. Then, need mag jebs and wiwi. I can jebs just fine, pero kasi lately, wala akong ganang kumain. Though I still jebs regularly, it's not as often as before. Nag aalala tuloy ako. What if I can't jebs and fail to submit a sample? Nakalagay paman din sa contract na I need to finish it in 1 day lang.

Bahala na. Kung para sakin to. Siguro, magiging maayos naman lahat.

I just recieved a call from the company. Need daw i-move start date ko from July 21 to July 22. Monday kasi yung July 21. By then e Sunday pa daw sa US kaya walang mag te-train sakin. I told them it's fine. It actually works for me, kasi if I manage to kapon my cats by Monday (July 14), 7th day palang ng gamutan nila by 21st. At least I can give them meds without worrying about getting late. Nalaman ko rin na hindi pala 8AM to 5PM ang shift ko, kundi 7AM to 4PM. Ang aga, so, blessings na rin na 22nd nalang ang start. Ang dami ko pang katanungan, pero siguro, saka ko nalang muna itatanong pag nalagpasan ko na yung medical. Sana maging ok lahat.

IT ServiceDesk. This work is similar dun sa dati kong work bago ako matransfer sa SAP team on my previous company. Hindi ko pa sure if Japanese-bilingual ba ang pag support ko, or puro Japanese lang, but I was doing the same work for years, so I'm hoping that I'll be fine. Sa Japanese language naman, I've been using the language in my entire career. That's 16 years worth. Sure, nakatengga ako ng over 1 year, pero bahala na. Kaya ko yan!

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Nag weigh-in ako for my NBI info the last time. I was surprised na yung weight ko now e same na sa weight ko 6 years ago. I lost 6 kilos recently. I wasn't even trying. LOL. Benefits ng pagkakaron ng problema?

But things are getting better now. I hope the next few days will be chill.

cinderellaareus

The past days were difficult. Kagabi, dinala namin si mama sa ER dahil ayaw parin bumaba ang BP nya. Today, I needed to quickly clean up and feed the cats, then ran to buy meds for Mom, while trying to reply to emails left and right.

I felt frustrated kanina. Iniisip ko kung dahil ba sa pagod? Puyat? Money problems? Many problems? Or dahil I'm still sick, but I don't have the luxury to even nurse myself?

Pag hindi mo alam kung anong problema, nakakafrustrate naman talaga. Upon thinking futher, na realize ko na all these weren't the reason why I was upset. It was because I fcking live in the boonies. Like, I need to travel total of 6 to 8 hours para kumuha ng TOR. Another 6 to 8 hours for nbi, another for medical, and so on. And travel time palang yun, wala pa yung actual process.

Tapos, nagsusuka pa yung pusa ko.

Upon realizing the cause of my frustration, I managed to calm down a bit. I managed to solve a few of my problems, with minimun effort. I thank God for the existence of ChatGPT.

At siguro, may power talaga sa pagiging kalma.

Instead of listing all my problems, I want to list down all the blessings I received, and the things I'm grateful for.

1. I still have my parents. They keep me going.

2. I have my cats, niece, and nephew. Their cuteness heals me.

3. We have Tito R who helped us bring Mom to the hospital. Hinintay nya kami kahit past 10 na kami nakalabas ng hospital.

4. Mom seems to be getting a bit better. Hopefully, tuloy tuloy na.

5. I have cc. With it, I was able to pay Mom's hospital bill and medicines.

6. Last night, I prayed that we'll get to go home. Bukod sa pagtaas ng bill, ayoko lang rin kasi matulog sa hospital. The Heavens answered my prayer. 

7. I'm grateful for my sis-in-law. When we got home from the hospital, the dishes were washed. The kitchen was clean, and she also gathered the trash for collection the next day. I'm glad na nandyan si sis-in-law. 

8. Gathering of my pre-employment requents is somehow progressing.

9. I'm glad that my start date on the new company comes in later. Considering our current situation, sakaling mas maaga ang start date, mas lalo siguro akong ngarag.

10. I managed to sleep properly last night. Finally. 

11. I managed to finish my dinner earlier. It's the first meal I managed to finish in a while.

12. I'm glad that this company accepted me. I hope that things are gonna sail smoothly from here on. 

July just started, and it's already testing our strength. I feel hopeful na malalagpasan namin to, at magiging maayos din ang lahat.

cinderellaareus

The past few days were difficult.

Saturday, Mom got sick. Her blood pressure shot up to 199/100+. When Dad had a stroke, nasa 150+/100+ lang yung BP nya.

Monday, Mom's still sick so I accompanied Dad na mamalengke. Tapos, pagbalik, I travelled again papuntang cityhall to pay for our property tax.

Tuesday, just when Mom was starting to get a little better, ako naman yung nagkasakit.

I have I lot of things to finish. I need to submit pre-employment requirements, tapos, paschedule ng medical, then, kailangan ko rin ipaschedule yung 3 cats ko for kapon.

I'm having a hard time eating these days. Hindi rin ako masyadong makatulog. Yesterday, I couldn't get out of bed as I felt like my skull was filled with rocks instead of brains.

Masama ba ang Feng Shui ng bahay namin?

cinderellaareus

So, I just realized na bilang nakatali ako sa Company no. 5 for a year, at forever WFH ang setup...

Tokwa, paano ko hahanap ng jowa???!!

Arrrgh. Lol.

cinderellaareus

So, I signed the company's offer today.

Fully WFH. Salary is about 23k LOWER than my previous company, but I figured that since it's WFH, and I don't have to rent or eat outside all the time, buy new clothes, spend on travel fare, etc.-- same same lang rin.

I am bonded to them for 1 year. Malaki yung bayad if I terminate the contract. Tinanggap ko na. I also have another ongoing application offering 39K higher than this company, pero kasi, hindi pa naman sure. Tsaka fully onsite. I sure am tempted to eat out all the time, but I'll probably end up missing my cats and my family.

Will be having a meeting with the TA lead later. The work itself will start July 21. The other company starts earler. July 7. But then again, hindi pa nga sure yun, so...

I need money already. Pero malamang ang 1st salary ko e by end of August pa. Tokwa. I still have some money. Kasya pa naman. But as much as possible, I want to keep my MBT stocks in time for the issueance of dividends by August. Bahala na. May next time pa naman.

I will have time since it's WFH. Also, I have nearly 1 month of free time before going back to work. I need to find ways to earn passive income. Maybe I'll focus on expanding the earnings of my existing passive income sources namely, Facebooks and Prmptbase. I also need to have my 3 female cats spayed.

Dad's birthday on the 9th. He wants to go back to this unli restaurant kung saan tinreat sila ng family friend namin. It's super cheap. 200+ lang per head, may senior's discount pa. Kaya ko naman bayaran.

Ang mahal lang e yung kapon ng mga pusa. I nead over 10k for that. I just shelled out nearly 15K para sa payment ng tax namin sa bahay at lupa.

Di bale, konting tiis nalang at may stable income na ko. I need to focus on increasing my passive income. Stockmarket parin ang major source, pero syempre, I need more.

God, thank you for the blessings. Pengi po passive income na 300,000 pesos monthly.

cinderellaareus

I faced the final boss today. Great timing kasi kagabi pa nag-aaburoto yung tiyan ko. Hindi rin ako masyadong nakatulog, so I can't really say that I was on my best shape kanina.

Pero okay naman. Nasagot ko naman. But in the end, hindi pa rin naman talaga sigurado kung matatanggap ako o hindi.

----

I have another interview tomorrow. Antamad nung HR. Isang bagsak na nag email tas sama sama na lahat ng applicant. Classified information kaya ang mga email addresses. Hindi nya manlang ginawang BCC. Nakakainis tuloy. I want to withdraw my application to this company, pero kasi, hindi naman sure kung matatanggap ako dun sa isa.

cinderellaareus

Mom's birthday celebration today.

Mom's actual birthday and another celebration tomorrow. 

I have 2 interviews this coming week.

I just finished the first season of Kaiju no.8 and I'm excited for the upcoming season.

I just finished the recent episode of Apothecary Diaries and I'm excited for the next.

I'm finally able to have better sleep. Probably PMS is already over. At least for now.

I'm feeling so much better. TYG.

cinderellaareus

Zero hour sleep. I "woke up" at 6AM. Konting execise. Linis. Fix bed. Tiklop ng damit. Breakfast. Feed cats.

Tried to start "working" around 10AM. Kaso antok na antok ko ako. So I slept. I woke up past 1PM. Had lunch. Fed cats. Linis. And started "working" again around 2PM.

Ah! That's it. I give up.

I started browsing job search engines again. Naaawa na kasi ako sa sarili ko. Pati sa nanay ko.

Tokwa. Sa totoo lang, wala naman ako masyadong nagawa sa business businessan na to. Sinunod ko lang yung schedule na binigay sakin ni ChatGPT. Ang hirap magpatuloy pag wala ka naman talagang passion sa ginagawa mo, tas kailangan ko pa ng pera.

Also, I have another reason...

Currently reading the BL Manhwa, "Dangerous Convenience Store". Hindi ko bet 100% yung seme, but I still found their love story heartwarming. Naisip ko lang na tuluyang walang mangyayari sa love life ko kung nandito lang ako sa bahay. 

Sabi nila, malalaman mo daw kung tama ang desisyon mo depende sa amount ng peace you feel out of that decision.

Hindi ko alam kung peace ba to. Maybe more like relief. I am, after all, relieving myself from all these uncertainty. Hindi ko rin naman ako kung makakahanap ako kaagad ng trabaho.

Pero change priority. Change plan. Ang hirap magfocus.

Focus. 

Tokwa, narealize ko lang na para sa taong may zero skill sa multitasking, I seem to have spread myself thin. Kahit mula nung bata ang dami kong ginawa—writing, reading, drawing, piano, ballet, anime. Tapos ngayon, engineering, Japanese language, business, public speaking, crochet, cacti and succulents, content creation, BL, AI, etc. Gusto ko pa nga sumali sa writing contest, pero pinigilan ko na yung sarili ko. I mean, I only have 24 hours a day, and just 1 body. Naalala ko yung yaya ni tatay dati nung nagjoke ako na mag-aartista na ko. She was like, "artista naman ngayon?"

Basta ang goal ko lang muna sa ngayon e to earn money at humanap ng boyfriend. 
I hope that things will get easier soon.