BRIDGES
(Kevyn Lettau)

I have crossed a thousand bridges
In my search for something real
There were great suspension bridges
Made of spiderwebs of steel

There were tiny wooden trestles
And there were bridges made of stone
I have always been a stranger
And I've always been alone

There's a bridge to tomorrow
There's a bridge from the past
There's a bridge made of sorrow
That I pray would not last

There's a bridge made of colors
In the sky high above
And I'm certain there must be
Bridges made out of love

I can see him in a distance
On the rivers of the shore
And his hands reach out in longing
As my own have done before

And I call across to tell him
Where I believe the bridge must lie
And I'll find it, yes I'll find it
If I search until I die

When the bridge is between us
We'll have nothing to fear
We will run through the sunlight
And you'll meet me halfway

There's a bridge made of colors
In the sky high above
And I'm certain there must be
Bridges made out of love

La, la, la...

*******************

a beautiful song. i remember way back someone telling me how its wiser to build bridges than walls. i believe him now. and i know that whether its a bridge of friendship or otherwise...it still is a bridge made out of love.

gawssshhh....kanina pa akong umaga pabalik balik dito. racking my brains on what to write about. ganito ata talaga pag kulang sa inspiration eh. geeessshhh...

i wish i could do some stargazing right now. wala lang...it just reminds me that there's something out there larger than life. ang hirap dito sa manila...walang mapwestuhan. buti pa sa province paglabas ng bahay tingala ka lang kita na ang malalaking bituin. eh dito? pag tingala mo puro poste at buhol-buhol na wires ang makikita mo. tapos di tulad sa probinsya ang bango ng simoy ng hangin. dito? amoy yosi, or aso....eekers...

shyucks...ano ba yan? kelangan ko na talaga lumabas ng bahay. nalolokah na ata ako...hahahah...konting tulog na lang sel...malapit na...

my zen micro's busted. it wouldn't read my files. argghhhh... i think i need to have it checked. done everything from cleaning to reformatting. it wouldn't budge. good thing that its still under warranty. i just need to get the receipt in my office drawer... ughhh

exams week for my kids. kelangan na naman magsunog ng kilay. hahaha... sana di ako kasali dun. kaso kelangan. buti na lang next week pa ako reporting for work.

ang bilis ng oras. super...i'm hearing my favorite christmas carols in the malls already...

i don't want a lot for christmas
there is just one thing i need
i don't care about the presents
underneath the christmas tree
i just want you for my own
more than you could ever know
make my wish come true...
all i want for christmas is you…

...and its making me sad......

guess who is #1 on my christmas wishlist...who else but...

SAM

 

isn't he G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S.....HAHAHA...di naman masama mangarap diba....libre naman yan.... kaya pagbigyan nyo na lang ako...epekto ito ng di nahahanginan.

my blogging at tabulas is a year older today. ang galing. if it was a handwritten journal i would've written on it twice and forget abt it totally. i value confidentiality and accessibility. these are the things i like most abt my online journal. here i can always click on a privacy status if i don't want anyone to know abt what i've written.  

actually, i should've been greeting my cloudygirl account. but i've decided to leave it for my own reasons. i don't want to be pre-judged by whoever just because of things i've written there abt how strongly i felt for someone who felt differently abt me. although these are already things of the past i still can't deny how cheated i felt and it really hurt like hell. what's done is done...and i have moved on. so now my account as princess_bride.

i can't promise zero emo stuff. coz that's not me. but i promise myself to be more positive abt life. to open my heart again. coz i believe i deserve to be treated better. andyan naman ang bagong bf ko na si sam diba....hehehe...i wish!   

thank you to all my friends who were patient enough to read abt my rantings and ramblings.

to my sister Ynnah - the soul sistah i've finally met here. thanks for being there. your online presence was  more than enough to keep my sanity. i love you balasang.

to my bro Jong_xc8 - the younger brother i never had. i wish we could get together with sis Ynnah one of these days. thanks for the good times online balong.

to Magical - for my "ate". thanks for more than two years of patiently "processing" things with me. you are so fun to be with, nakakalimutan ko mga problema ko. thanks for always cheering me up friendship.

to Tatang - i know most of the time we misunderstood each other. i just want u to know that you will always have a special place in my heart. more years of friendship to us.

and to Cruboy - for making me realize a lot of things. there were fun and great times. and yes, you've touched my life in ways you'd never know. thanks for the friendship. and goodluck sa lovelife.

for my dear friends ...especially those who come and go like bubbles in my life ...this is for you...

**********************************************

IN THIS LIFE

(Chantal Kreviazuk- Smallville OST)

Let me show you what I'm made of

Good intentions are not enough

To get me through today and this life.

You're in the basement watching the TV,

I'm on the second floor watching the ceiling.

We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.

I dream the same dream we can fly

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me tell you who you really are

You're my comfort

You're not a superstar

I can reach up and bring you back down onto the ground

And give you everything you dream about

You can run from me

You can hide from me

But I am right beside you

In this life.

I'll give you all the things that I never get

Give you all I have and have no regrets

Take you to the places that I've never been

Forgive you all the things that you can’t forget

Take away the pain with my healing hand

Wash away your sins and set your spirit free

You can run from me

And You can hide from me

I am right beside you

In this life.

Let me show you what I'm made of…

i almost didn't make it to work today. not because of my health but because of the "fit to work clearance" issue. my doctor clearly told me that i still can't go to work until my wound is fully healed. but i practically coerced him to issue the clearance with the assurance that i am feeling better and that may work will not entail too much physical activity. told him that i needed to get back to work badly. mabuti na lang at mabait ang cute kong doctor. hehehe

(Kelly Clarkson)

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
Im ashamed of my life
because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

i'm so sad at bob's fate in PBB. being forcibly evicted due to circumstances beyond his control. i can feel so much for him. but i fully understand PBB's decision, it's for his own good din naman. i've been crying since they announced the eviction till the time he said goodbye. i know for a fact that abs-cbn will take care of him inspite of his eviction. although i don't like him personally, i just felt his disappointment and frustration. and it had this unnerving effect on me. sigh...

yeah, sobrang iyakin ko talaga...especially if i can relate to how he felt at that moment. its like in relationships....loving someone who does not love you. losing the one you love because of things you have no control of. its like being kicked out of big brother's house. even if you don't want to say goodbye, you have to coz he said his farewell first. sakit talaga ng ganon. its like being treated like an outcast in the family. the black sheep is never welcomed back in the family. masakit talaga yung ganon.

on a positive note, after everything that has happened there is always hope...there is always a chance to prove to the world that you deserve to be treated better. that just like everybody else you are entitled to be loved...to be given a chance...to be special to someone. and ultimately dry the tears you've been shedding for so long...

(LIFEHOUSE)

I can see it your eyes
You’re hurting
But pain is part of learning who you are
All these truths can sometimes be deceiving
When your world is crashing to the ground

[Chorus]
Tell me everything you need now
Anything at all
And I will be the one whose waiting
Anytime you fall
Yeeeaaaahhh….Yeaaaahhhhh…
When you come undone
When you come undone

You know I can’t be like everybody
Cause I can tell you what you want to hear
I don’t know if I can make it better
All I know, is that I’ll be around

[Chorus]

When all your plans are made out
Lying on the floor
And all your dreams are turning into nothing more
When all your hope is left
You know you’re not alone
Just hold on…
Hold on…

[Chorus]

got tired of my long tresses always tied up in a bun. had a haircut done last night. wanted something new. something not like me. hmmm....i really wanted to have it short as in short. but i think my hair's texture and the shape of my face is limiting me to having it not shorter than shoulder length.

well, i'm quite satisfied with the style. although somehow deep inside me, i wanted to have something a bit radical. i don't know i just wanted to look different. to veer away attention from my face to my crowning glory. (as if anybody's interested...hahaha) now i can hide behind my hair....i don't know if its a good thing...and i don't know if i can get used to having to wiff my hair away from my face all the time. got used to having it tied up and that's it. wow...big change for me. a little treatment here and there would be great.

i just love to spend time making up for things i've missed.... although i'm not normally a vain person. i guess i found a new sense of being in fixing up. i wanted to feel good. not to satisfy anybody else but myself.

and i am feeling good....what's great abt this is it exudes a happy aura. now next in line is making up for lost time with my friends. my life is great....thank God!

gawd its like winter here at work. and its not a good atmosphere for someone who has a surgical incision that's still healing. ugghhh...

it's hurting like hell...waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............

i'm going home early, someone cared enough to fetch me and bring me home. i feel like a stray cat....aching body, cold and shivering from the rain. kainis!

yup. its like the most favorite color among gals. i love the baby pink and old rose shades. they are just so "kikayish" hahaha..it's pretty in pink wardrobe day for me. (seems like its a 3x a week routine) don't i just adore the color? hehehe

TGIF!! yup yup...and don't we all anticipate for this day..the end of the work week...gimik time...i for one, am excited for tonite's bowling game. but of course i could not play yet, but it would be fun watching my team play against other departments. definitely, a breather from the toxic demands of work.

this weekend is sure going to be a sad one for me. "manang" the one who takes care of me and my kids is leaving for the province her husband got sick and she needs to be there. i wish she could be with us forever. but i know it could never happen. why is it that good things never last? she was like a mom to me. i never treated my househelp as that, they were always like family to me.

tears will sure fall again... i always get left behind by people i love. a trend that i would like to be changed soon. as if it were in my hands?

 

(Sarah Mclachlan)

Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
don't you know I tried so hard
to love you in my way
it's easy let it go...

Adia I'm empty since you left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
to see where we went wrong

'cause there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence
'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter
does it matter?

Adia I thought we could make it
but I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe that

we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter, does it matter?
believe me Adia, we are still innocent

'cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still
it's easy, we all falter ... but does it matter?

tears did pour after my yaya left last saturday to take care of her dengue-stricken husband. can't help but wonder why people close to my heart kept leaving me behind. what message is He giving me?

my bestfriend here at work is also resigning, to work in a provincial city hall. better opportunity plus she could be with her kids. i've been so used to letting go and trying my best to understand why it kept happening. i'm sure that i have nothing to do with them leaving. but it happened too often that i am starting to question His intentions for letting me go again through all these.

inspite of these questions in mind i still count myself so much blessed for having them even for awhile in my life. i thank God for their friendship, their patience, their care and their love. they have loved me so much like i was family to them. i hope someday our paths do cross again. yes, maybe....in God's time.

goodbye manang del....till we meet again!

(michelle branch)

I bet you didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me no where
I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you

So one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home
Oh...

Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving
Once I came of your touch

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home

What would you do if I could have you
What if I could?
I'd let you feel everything you can get
Wouldn't that be enough?
Wouldn't that be enough?

And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you...

I bet you didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me no where

I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you

So one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home
Oh

Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving
Once I came to your touch?

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home
Oh, what would you do if I could have you?
What if I could?
I'd let you feel everything you could get
Wouldn't that be enough?
Wouldn't that be enough?

And one of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you...

you watch people walking hand in hand or arms around one another's waist. you see them kiss and look into each other's eyes so full of love. and you remember your past loves. those who made you laugh and cry. those who hurt you so bad. those who treated you like dirt. and you wonder...you wonder what makes you different.

you are deep in thought and trying to remember how wonderful it felt to be loved...to be cared for. you had those precious moments to treasure....and to long for. you begin to hate yourself for not being able to keep one love. the "one" who'd give up everything for you. you always had to share it with somebody or something else. and you wonder...you wonder if you really deserve something as beautiful as that.

you are now willing to settle for something less. to feel less sad and less lonely. to have something to call your own at least for awhile. and you wonder...you wonder what kind of person would do that.

you feel so small and so insignificant. and you wonder...you wonder what is there for you in this life...

(Bjork)

I miss you
But I haven't met you yet
So special
But it hasn't happened yet
You are gorgeous
But I haven't met you yet
I remember
But it hasn't happened yet

And if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important
That a dream can come true
I will meet you

I was peaking
But it hasn't happened yet
I haven't been given
My best souvenir
I miss you
But I haven't met you yet
I know your habits
But wouldn't recognize you yet

And if you believe in dreams
Or what is more important
That a dream can come true
I will meet you

I'm so impatient
I can't stand the wait
When will I get my cuddle?
Who are you?

I know by now that you'll arrive
By the time I stop waiting

I miss you

you did not sleep well again. so much possibilities and probabilities running through your head. its happening again. the same feeling getting intense and deeper as each day passes. and its freaking you out. because you are afraid to get hurt again. because you might not be able to handle the pain anymore.

so you set aside those feelings. and try to keep your distance. but you realize how much he makes you feel good everyday. its  a great feeling. and it keeps you warm inside. hopeful that you can make this work out this time. happy that someone special is making you feel great again.

but beware. take your time. make tiny steps...for if you hurry you might hit rock bottom again and it may destroy you this time. know your boundaries. be less passionate. and try not to run away with your feelings. take it easy...slowly but surely.

though you know that you can never offer more than what he needs. you can just give what you can do best...be a good friend till the end. coz that's what you're good at...and you know that even if this turns out to be different, what you can give will never be enough for him.

setting aside all past hurts and pain...you are just glad to feel good again.

you feel knots at the pit of your stomach. you feel quesy and really nervous. its been awhile since you felt this way. its a weird feeling - a combination of excitement, giddiness and fear.

you wish that the moment will not end.  but it was a time stolen from the world. so you just had to make the most out of it. and you set aside all the fears and inhibitions. it was wonderful. you feel free at last from the bonds of your past.

so you live by the day. hoping that this time it would be different. not expecting too much...but not holding back at all. you ought to be careful but the feeling of being free drowns all your worries. you felt good and happy and at that moment it was all that matters. 

you don't mind another day like yesterday....

(Liz Phair)

Get a load of me
Get a load of you
Walkin' down the street
And I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be

Holding hands with you
And we're out at night
Got a girlfriend
You say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too

This is, this is just the beginning
We're already wet
And we're gonna go swimming

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable.
It's a fact that we're gonna get down to it.
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful

Here we are
We're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet
But heads spinning

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable.
It's a fact that we're gonna get down to it.
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

I'd love for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'?
I'd love for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
For this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you?
It's inevitable.
It's a fact that we're gonna get down to it.
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you?

"be careful for what you wish for...coz wishes can come true."

you did had another day more than what you hoped for. it passed by like fleeting clouds. and caught you in between time. its like getting stuck in that moment when everything seems alright.

but the truth kept sticking out like sore thumb...painful and glaring. you just wish you didn't feel this much. coz you know very well how everything will end. and you wished some more...that you could ignore what your heart kept telling you all this time.

don't make the same mistake. be rational about the whole thing. and though now you'd like to believe so much that this is gonna be different, you can't deny the fact that somehow the "complications" is just around the corner ready to pounce on you anytime.

you wonder why life can be such a bitch sometimes....arrgghhhh...

(Michelle Branch ft. Santana)

(coldplay)

Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
So part of the plan
When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can
I'm diving off the deep end
You become my best friend
I wanna love you
But I don't know if I can
I know something is broken
And I'm trying to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way I can

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space...
And singing

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space
You and me are floating on a tidal wave...
Together
You and me are drifting into outer space...
And singing

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh...

not so good start of the week. you feel your bubble burst. and now you are lost once again. you never learn...you always seem to feel too much too soon. you wish you could be a little wiser in the nick of time. but you seem to always end up feeling really hurt and stupid. what could be worse is that you have to start from scratch again. you never learn...

you very well know that this could happen. then why do you seem so dumbstruck when the truth started to unravel. what is it with you that keeps drawing your heart to the same mess? its like you are being drawn by magnet. only to be shattered when you come in contact. you never learn...

ohhh you have a bitchy life.... 

**********

(Lindsay Lohan)

Do you see me
Do you feel me like I feel you
Call your number
I can not get through
You don't hear me and I dont understand
When I reach out I dont find your hand

Was it wasted words and did they mean a thing
And all our precious time but I still feel so in between

[Chorus:]
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had

I keep tell myself things can turn around with time
And if I wait it out you could always change your mind
Like a fairy tale where it works out in the end
Can I close my eyes have you lying here again
Then I come back down
Then I fade back in
Then I realize its just what might have been.

[chorus]

Am I a shadow on your wall
Am I anything at all
Anything to you
Am I a secret that you keep
Do you dream me while your sleeping after all
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
That I never had
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had
You dont see me, you dont feel me like I feel you

why do people almost always never keep their promises? you've heard before of promises of friendship withstanding the test of time. but when things become shaky you'd realize that you were left alone...standing still. funny and so naive, how you thought that you were holding someone's hand when in fact it was just yourself that you hold onto.

you've been promised of not being hurt...and not being lied to. but alas, you'd always discover that promises are meant to be broken... that physically getting hurt is just the same as being hurt emotionally... that your tears are the only expression of the pain you are going through.

what could be more painful than losing someone you thought would always be there for you? who suddenly wanted out, because of his own ghosts... and at that moment you felt like it was you who scared him away just like that.

yes, maybe it was you... maybe promises are meant to be broken with you...and friendships are not meant to be kept.

you must be the most awful person on earth....sigh...

(Rob Thomas)

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you so we both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you so we both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

you sure felt like heaven after bulging up in their sumptuous meals. really, yummy. it was worth the wait. you swore you'd come back...soon...

you weren't able to sleep well last night. not because of anything else but filling up your newly replaced zen micro with music you love. music does have its soothing and healing effect on you.

you decide that today is going to be one fine day...relax, sit back and enjoy...

for there is always light at the end of the tunnel...

(Googoo Dolls)

You and I got somethin'
But it's all and then it's nothin' to me, yeah
And I got my defenses
When it comes through your intentions for me, yeah

And we wake up in the breakdown
With the things we never thought we could be, yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin'
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

I am no solution
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah
And I was not the answer
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah

I'm not the one who broke you
I'm not the one you should fear
We got to move you darlin'
I thought I lost you somewhere
But you were never really ever there at all

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I don't need the fallout
Of all the past that's in between us
And I'm not holding on
And all your lies weren't enough to keep me here

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling
And I wanted to be
All you need
Somehow here is gone

And I want to get free
Talk to me
I can feel you falling

I know it's out there
I know it's out there
And I can feel you falling

I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

I know it's out there
I know it's out there
Somehow here is gone, yeah

okey, back to my usual writing style...the third-person thingy should be done when i'm on "emo" mode. hahaha (btw, thanks to theicequeen for giving me the idea)

a new vehicle (APV - Suzuki) was bought by a friend that needed breaking-in. so after having it blessed at the Divine Mercy Church in Mandaluyong we headed to Tagaytay for dinner at The Grill. Great food there. The Beef Camto Soup was superb, same with the grilled pork that tasted really great the fried chicken was very crispy with the matching sauce which made us finish it to the bones...hahaha!

in short, dinner was really something we didn't expect in a place not that well-known. yummy talaga! the weather caught us also unaware. it was super cold coz it was raining. so the sudden gush of wind made us look like a bunch of shivering chicks. goshes! so after dinner we went for brewed coffee somewhere along south expressway. got home by 1:00 am

so here i am again, trying to keep my eyes open. starbucks has this halloween promo of upsizing your ordered drink. so the tall size of brewed coffee kept me awake for a long while. sigh

good friends do really can tell when you are down even without asking. i'm glad i have them around...coz they always remind me why even if my life is a bitch...it can still be so much fun!

LIWANAG SA DILIM
(Rivermaya)

Ituring ang iyong sariling
Tagahawi ng ulap
Sa kalangitang kulimlim
Kampanang yayanig
Sa bawat nilalang
Magigising ang lupang
Kulang sa dilig

Ikaw ang magsasabing
“Kaya mo to!”
Tulad ng isang tanglaw
Sa gitna ng bagyo

Isigaw mo sa hangin
Tumindig at magsilbing
Liwanag
Liwanag sa Dilim
Harapin mong magiting
Ang bagong awitin
Ikaw ang
Liwanag sa Dilim

At sa paghamon mo
Sa agos ng ating kasaysayan
Uukit ka ng bagong daan

Ikaw ang aawit ng
“Kaya mo to!”
‘Sang panalangin
Sa gitna ng gulo

all soul's day always gives me a chance to visit special people in my heart whom i know that even if they are not physically with me, serve as my line to heaven.

Lolo and Lola Soriano - they took care of me when i was little. back when my dad had to work in Iloilo and had to bring the whole family there while i was left in Manila to study. they loved me so much that i was expecting that my parents could equal that affection. sadly, they could not.

Jojo - my brother in law who died in the Ozone disco fire last 1995. he was the brother i never had. so kind and so loving, i guess that's why God had to get him at such an early age.

Carlos Jothan - my baby i lost of february last year. i've been longing for another son but i guess God has other plans. health issues were reasons why i was ligated afterwards. and i can't have kids anymore. i know that i have an angel in heaven watching over me. i guess i have to focus on my 3 remaining kids.

i am no saint, i don't pretend to be someone perfect...but i hope despite all of these...my angels will guide me through this life. i believe that everybody deserves to be in heaven - we just have to work on it. and it helps if we call on people close to Him...our line to heaven. 

quite a good idea to promote the restaurant. sino nga ba siya? hehehe...i just remembered dinner with a good friend last nite. he was looking good, inspired and happy kse. hehehe. been awhile since i laughed so much. my tummy hurt. ughh...the starbucks upsized brewed coffee kept me awake again the rest of the night. so much available time to fiddle with my music.

it was really nice to spend time again with people you haven't seen for awhile. especially when you discover that there is still chemistry inspite of what the past brought to both of you. last night was definitely a good start to revive the friendship. after all it was what brought both of you together anyway.

although there were still some things that you both couldn't discuss openly...you just know deep inside that time will come when it would be easier to share each others woes and all the more serious facts of life. because that's what friends are for anyway.  

i am just glad to have RF around.  here's to more fun times with you buddy!