my first entry for the year. i wanted to come up with something interesting. but i'd rather not at this point. well, not until the fat lady sings....go figure! hahaha

normally, people would come up with new year's resolutions but i haven't practiced doing that. not my style. i guess i wouldn't want to get disappointed. i have always been the "go for it" girl. impulsive some may say. i'd say, its how i deal with things. and that's not abt to change right now.

careerwise, i am looking forward to more challenges and better opportunities. i love where iam right now. i am happy at how things are going at work. i have been truly blessed and i want to prove that i deserve this.

on the homefront, i let my kids stay at my mom during the holidays. well not the whole time though. just to let her know that i am leaving the kids out of our mess. however, she can't blame me if my kids don't feel at home with her.

i had my share of keeping up with friends during the holidays. i had fun...and the memories keep rushing back. the good times...the bad...and i wonder what memories will be created still. well, i will just have to keep hoping for the best.

cheers to 2008!

hi daddy,

i have poured out things before this entry. only to get an error when it was being uploaded in tabs. i guess, some things are meant to be kept in the heart.

i cannot make myself go through the agonizing process of pouring out my innermost feelings again. i think somehow i have connected with you...and maybe you didn't like it being public. i understand. its been two years daddy....two years of coping without having you around.

my life has always been one big drama class. you knew that. its one hell of a struggle i bet raising a child like me. i wasn't the quiet one. i always complained abt things. i always wanted to make people understand me. most especially you...

losing you was like losing half of me. ever since i was a child it was your attention that i wanted and seeked. hard headed child that iam...i did get your attention and disappointment i guess most times.

but look at me daddy....do i make you proud? battle scarred yet stronger. i persevered...maybe different from the little girl you raised...but i hope i am a better person right now.

thank you. i never thanked you enough for all the sacrifices you have made for us. for keeping me in school at all cost. it led me to having greater opportunities without needing to be "on top" of the ladder. i am happy where i am now.

i love you daddy and i miss you so much. i know in my heart that i will see you someday.

"Eternal rest grant unto Rufino B. Gapuz, Jr. O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen!"

ok, i am really bad at remembering things...i just want to give a recap of my so-called-life's happenings this week.

monday - home office mode. slept late, woke up late so told my boss i'd be working at home. found out that the report i finished last friday had some issues. called germany and resolved the issue with my counterparts. good thing it was just a glitch in their formulas. sigh.

tuesday - started finishing up pending action items for the integration project. updated the Chart of Accounts Mapping with P12 figures

wednesday - downloaded BS items as of P12 for recon. continue with integration project action items

thursday - conference call re wkly integration project updates. funny someone's snoring on the line. the whole group was laughing really hard. seems that the guy forgot to switch on his mute button. classic talaga!

friday - submitted to project team accomplished action items. kulit ng singaporean dami emails on his queries abt our processes. grrrr....went to st. francis square after ofc to get some PS2 dvds and movies. my son keeps bugging me abt i am legend.

saturday - cooked pocherong fish for lunch and beef stroganoff for dinner. my kids loved it. made my wkly meal plan and did one month. karir na ito. took an afternoon nap...bed weather....sigh.

sunday - i brought home work so i need to finish stuff tomorrow.

so there, it was a full week. although did my best to keep in touch with friends....who might be having a busy week as well like me. i am missing someone really bad. but i have learned my lesson. i don't want to scare people away when they think that i get too clingy or something. it is just how i take care of people close to my heart.

i was planning with some officemates to go to bora. i have a highschool friend who owns/ manages a resort there. and she's giving me special discounted rates. but i'm having second thoughts. supposed to leave on friday (jan. 18). howell, maybe its not time yet....soon though...i need  to unwind talaga. sigh

hokey, due to insistent public demand...(as if! ) here's the recipe for beef stroganoff

1/2 k. round steak, cut in strips
1/2 c. all-purpose flour
2 tbsps. butter or margarine
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 c. mushrooms, sliced
mushroom juice
1 c. sour cream*
1 c. tomato sauce
1/2 tsp hot sauce
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. black pepper
1/4 c. grated gruyere cheese, optional

Coat meat strips with flour. Brown butter or margarine. Push to one side of pan. Saute onion, garlic and mushrooms. Stir mixture together, cover pan and simmer for 5 mins. Combine mushroom juice, sour cream, tomato sauce and seasonings. Pour over meat. Simmer abt 30 mins or until tender. Sprinkle with grated cheese and brown, if desired. Serves 4-6.

*To 1 c. Carnation Evap milk add 1 tbsp. pineapple vinegar or calamnsi juice. Let stand until curdled.

ayan sis literati di kita matiis kaya pinost ko na lang. enjoy eating.

going to work is easy for me when i take the fx. however, when politics gets to be a problem and the fx units are scattered around mandaluyong and i can't seem to find them, i have no choice but to ride a jeep going to boni and then a bus to makati.

the jeep is alright....but taking the bus is another story.

1) buses seem to be always filled up already when it passes by boni.

2) if you get to sit at all nasa likod ka na ng bus which would be difficult for you when you have to go down na

3) these bus drivers can't seem to understand the reason why there's the break to step on. maaalala na lang nila when its too late...nagkapalitan na kayo ng mukha ng pasahero...grrrr

4) these conductors let's people in until we all look like sardines in a can. with no space...as in no space for a passenger who will have to go down. this particular issue gets on my nerves all the time. nagtataray talaga ako whenever they do this.

5) the seats can accommodate three daw...pero yung nasa bandang isle na kalahati lang ng pwet ang nakaupo. duh!

if there's a choice...i'd rather take a jeep than a bus. otherwise, highblood talaga abot ko sa mga ito. Pasaway!

figaro sedeno branch
1/29/2008
5:15pm

sitting in a coffeeshop alone watching cars and people passby is not an idea for a past time for me. but somehow the solitude comforts me. the idea of soft playing music in the background while i try to sort out troubled thoughts somehow gives me a sense of peace and comfort.

no man is an island. but if you get to be an island for a few hours i wouldn't have it any other way. i have been keeping things in my heart for the longest time. and its better left inside and just hope that the dam won't break.

i would have loved to spill it out. the freedom of finally having to share it with someone scares me to death. the fear of rejection, of opening up old wounds is all coming back to me. and i wouldn't want to go through that again.

silent streams run deep....and whatever it is that's going on inside me...i will just let it be....let it drown in deep waters....and pray hard that the dam won't break.