(Sarah Mclachlan)

I remember the nights I watched as you lay sleeping
Your body gripped by some far away dream
Well I was so scared and so in love then
And so lost in all of you that I had seen

But no one ever talked in the darkness
No voice ever added fuel to the fire
No light ever shone in the doorway
Deep in the hollow of earthly desires

But if in some dream there was brightness
If in some memory some sort of sign
And flesh be revived in the shadows
Blessed our bodies would lay so entwined

And I will oh I will not forget you
Nor will I ever let you go
I will oh I will not forget you

I remember when you left in the morning at daybreak
So silent you stole from my bed
To go back to the one who possesses your soul
And I back to the life that I dread.

So I ran like the wind to the water
Please don't leave me again I cried
And I threw bitter tears at the ocean
But all that came back was the tide...

*****************************
i came accross Pinoy Dream Academy the other day and caught the part when Jim Paredes was telling them how most of the songs may it be rock, r&b, ballad, rap...were actually love songs....and majority were about unrequited love.

come to think of it....it's true. and i realized, wow so its not just me. heheheh. more often than not, you come to a point when you feel that since it happened a lot of times, it must be you. something must be wrong with you - with how you look, your attitude, your intelligence (kung meron man), stuff you do or don't have. in other words, you'd end up in self pity. and you'd wonder.....

wait you should know yourself better....and you should realize that God blessed you with so many good things...and maybe, just maybe....it takes a special person to see beyond what meets the eye.

do you remember, your first hello? the first time she heard your voice her heart did flip-flop like she had a teenage love affair. she realized you were the one who made her happy.

do you remember, how hard she fell for you? how she'd spend so much time and money trying to call you and let you know how much she misses you?

do you remember, your petty arguments that could end up not talking to each other in days? and then when you make up she'd be the happiest being on earth.

do you remember, the games you played? how you tried to outwit each other? where in the long run you learn more about each other and how perfectly insync you were.

do you remember, the songs she dedicated to you? how passionate she was about music. and how madly in love she was with you.

do you remember, the letters (emails) she sent? she keeps all of it (with your replies) until now and reads it from time to time to remember the good old days.

do you remember, the tears she shed for you? how painful it was for her to know she was not the one for you.

do you remember cloudy? the day she said goodbye? it has been a long time....but you are still precious and treasured in her heart.

i just thought its about time you should know.

i am still into the adjustment stage when it comes to my new position at work. so many people to deal with different personalities. i had to control myself from lashing out on some executives due to their difficult nature. well, i'm not saying that i am perfect though. i guess you can say that i am the non-confrontational type of person. but when pushed to the wall i get impulsive and i fight back.

yeah, i know i have to learn to deal with my emotional approach on problems. i have so many things to learn yet and i am just blessed to have good mentors who guide me in my daily encounters. God has ways in making His presence felt in your life. i am really thankful for that.

one of the advices i heard was "don't lose yourself in the process". this concerned citizen (actually she's the AVP of one department) told me how she can see my potential and how good-natured i am. she gave me an unsolicited advice. (though i welcomed it with an open mind and heart) it was given because of an email i sent to a VP to defend myself from being quickly judged because of a low rating i supposedly gave them during an annual review of their services.

i know i have a lot of things to learn as i go along this path. i am open to change and i welcome criticisms so that i can improve on my craft. i believe that success can only be measured through helping other people succeed. and i am sure proud of the potential of my team.

i cannot wait for the world to change. i should learn to go through the cycle....evolve...and work on the things that i can control....myself.

To princess_bride:

Congratulations!!! You are one of the lucky students of Phase 2-SAP Configuration Training. Class will start on October 16, 2006 at Pasig Data Center. (a week after you will receive a confirmation letter for the details)

SAP Academy

***************************

we celebrated our graduation for completing the Phase 1 SAP Power User Basic Training. we are the first batch. attached to our certificates are small notes with the above message. of course not everyone was lucky to have it. i guess the path to being a SAP Consultant is slowly being prepared for me.

honestly, i'm scared. of the responsibility attached to this certificate and in case, of the certification exam after completing the phase 2 training. am i ready for this? will my schedule allow me to sacrifice more time for this endeavor. gosh i think i'm getting too old for this. i hardly have time finishing the books i'm reading let alone time for my kids these days. i work like a horse. no time for fun anymore.

here i go again....dwelling on the negativities...over processing things again. i'm sure i can deal with this as how i have dealt with what i have just gone through. success is 99% perspiration and prayers and 1% inspiration. whew, i wish i could have the energy to juggle my time for this.

on the other hand, i guess i should be thankful for this wonderful opportunity. not everyone is lucky to get this chance. i should really be counting my blessings.

to the One up there....Thank you for making all these possible.

(TaMiA)

Sometimes I sit at home and wonder how it'd be
If he had loved me
Truly loved me yes
I learned a while ago that kind of thing
Never happens for me
And so I go around
And just pretend
Love is not for me
I play the circus clown around my friends
Make them laugh and they won't see
That you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

Singin' la la la la

Sometimes I sit at home
By the phone hoping he might call me
But he don't call me
But then I realize
Dreams come true aren't for girls like me
Not like me
And so I go around with my head up
Like it ain't no thing
And when the boys around with all my friends
I’m into other things
Because you never let them see you sweat
Don’t want them to think the pain runs deep
Lord knows it's killing me

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

It’s not an easy (thing)
Sometimes it’s hard to (face the truth)
It’s not the life that I would choose (that I would choose)
But what else can I do?
If he don’t love me
If he don’t want me
I’m not about to sit around
Let myself go

So I put on my make-up
Put a smile on my face
And if anyone asks me
Everything is okay
I’m laughing cause no one
Knows the joke is on me
Cause I’m dying inside
With my pride and a smile
On my face
On my face

Singin' la la la la

*****************************

the past week was hell week at work. i am hopeful that after finishing all those ad hoc reports we'd be able to somehow catch up on other things we have left behind.

right now, i just wish i could take a day off and get some much needed rest. i'd like to bum around the house for a change. been working too hard, i know i deserve a break.

about the song, well i'd rather keep my trap shut for now. i don't want to send the wrong signals. i guess reminiscin is inevitable. especially if you have shared so much.

have a great week ahead friends!

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a
loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.

When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw
a medicine bottle open.

He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it
in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the
matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by
its color and drank it all.

It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he
died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he
looked at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

Scroll down...

ANSWER:

The husband just said " I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The
child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in
finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep
the bottle away, this would not have happened.

No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed
at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband.

That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be
much fewer problems in the world.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and
fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you
think.

MORAL OF THE STORY

Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame,
whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.

By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

"Everything in life has a purpose, there are no mistakes,
coincidences, events are blessings given to us to learn from it"

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after
accumulating enough Frequent Flier miles.

They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of
things.
Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers,
how they make money, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex. "Just how do you guys
do it?" asks Maureen. The Martian responds, "Pretty much the way you
do." A discussion ensues! Finally the couples decide to swap partners
for the night and experience one another.

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian
strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie member about half an inch long
and just a quarter-inch thick.

"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen.

"Why?" he asks. "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"

"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his
palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it's
quite impressively long.

"Well," she says, "That's quite impressive, but it is still narrow."

"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull,
his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is
extremely exciting to the woman.

"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fall into bed and make mad, passionate
love.
The next day the couples rejoin their other partners and go their
separate ways. As they walked along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any
good?"

"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was wonderful. How about
you?"

"It was horrible," he replies. "All I got was a headache.
She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!"

(Lifehouse)

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
The water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you, everything would be alright
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cos I'm so used to living under the surface

If I could just see you, everything would be alright
If I see you this darkness will turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
Now everything is alright
Everything's alright.

*******************************************

i like the acoustic version of this song. yeah, i know its kinda sad. i guess i need more time to get out and socialize. my so-called life right now can get a bit depressing. been working my ass off for what? i should be getting my priorities straight. i am missing my kids real bad. i hardly get to watch them grow up. sighhh..

maybe its time to go out and have fun time with the kids. hopefully i can manage to do it this weekend. definitely not this saturday, coz its hagonoy time. sunday maybe. sunday it is!

happy weekend friends!

our paths crossed

i followed you with my gaze

and then you look back

our eyes met for a few seconds

and i could do nothing but smile

then look away

if only i was free to pursue this nagging feeling

if only i was free to tell you

how i'd like to hold your hands

or lay my head on your shoulder

or feel your hand wipe my tears

or be free to drown myself in your scent

or hear you raise your questions

like you were interested how my day went

how lonely it feels that i could never do anything about this

how painful it is to always see you pass me by and walk away

i wanted so bad to shout to the world how happy i get when i see you wear my favorite outfit

or how i admire your new haircut

how much more bad can it get

not to be able to touch you or feel your warm kisses

or hear your sweet voice

that could erase all my worries

tomorrow, i should be able to wake up from all these daydreaming

and stop hoping that you could be mine even for a fraction of a second

please set this heart free from the mystery of your being...for me to dream of someone else without fear, without feeling guilty.

let me tread my path, without looking back if you will follow. without leaving my heart behind.

"When it comes to relationships,
maybe we're all in glass houses
and shouldn't throw stones.
Because you can never really know...

Some people are settling down,
some people are settling,
and some people refuse to settle
for anything less
than Butterflies."


--Carrie
Sex and the City

BUTTERFLY (Mariah Carey)

Verse 1
When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It`s so easy to succumb to overwhelming fears inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise
Chorus 1
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Verse 2
I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you`re
Ready To land
Chorus 2
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Bridge
I can`t pretend these tears
Aren`t overflowing steadily
I can`t prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you`ll never to be mine
Until you know the way it feels to fly
Chorus 3
Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun (Fly... to the sun)
If you should return to me (I will know you`re mine)
We truly were meant to be (Spread your wings and fly)
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
Chorus 4
Spread your wings and fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
Butterfly
Spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

gawshhh...couldn't finish the book i've been trying to read for more or less a month now (love in the time of cholera). been too busy or too tired to get to browse on it at night. nangangalawang na tuloy ang vocab ko. lech!

when i get hold of a very good book, i used to finish it in a day. the devil wears prada and the angels and demons were the type of books that really get me immersed in reading. isang araw ko lang talaga nabasa yung mga yun. those were the days, now no matter how interesting the book is, i can't afford leisure time. this is getting bad. sighhh.

i need time to party...time to be free from the toxicity of work. time to let out some heat (if you know what i mean). time to drink and be merry. i will only live this life once...better make the most out of it. so with all the blabbering, why am i still stuck here? because i enjoy power, or the feeling of having done something great that could change the lives of others? wtf?

i'm doomed....

drats! i'm getting sick of my tabulas layout. and i don't even have the time to learn how to fix it.

well, maybe i should move out. and focus on a blogsite that caters for dummies like me. buti pa yung friendster eh. my 11 yr old daughter taught me how to fix my layout. and its nice. hindi nakakasawa. unlike here.

if only this site isn't so special. i'd have the guts to move out just like that. geezzz...met so many special people here. ang hirap tuloy umalis. kaya lang sawa na ako sa layout ko. eh i heard mahirap syang ayusin.

so now what.....is it IN or OUT???

(bahala na si batman!)

eh pano kung nalaman mo na lagi pa din ikaw ang nasa isip ko?

eh pano kung nabasa mo na lahat ng mga sinusulat ko dito ay para talaga syo?

eh pano kung nalaman mong litrato mo pa din ang nakadisplay sa cellphone ko?

eh pano kung nakita mo na ang mga kantang iniipon ko sa player ko ay para syo?

eh pano kung sinabi ko na araw-araw pinpigil ko ang sarili ko i-dial ang numero mo?

eh pano kung sabihin ko na hanggang ngayon mahal kita?

nakakainis kse suntok sa buwan.

kung baga sa kanta hanggang panaginip lang.

sana kung ganon....wag na lang akong magising.

it took some effort for me to get to work today. so many flooded areas in our vicinity so i had to take an alternate route. my pants got soaked from the rain and my umbrella got destroyed from the strong winds. now the problem really is how to go home. sigh

i wanted to write abt something since yesterday. but decided not to. the time and effort i am exerting to reach out or dwell abt the reason for being ignored (AGAIN), is certainly not worth it. i guess i can be a total sucker at times. nakakagigil. grrrrr...

can i get as bitchy as the weather? i wanted to....so much. but then again, it is not my nature talaga. gawin ko kayang nature ko? wehehehe. loser!

yesterday was terrible. we were sent home early, had a hard time getting a ride. pagdating sa nuebe de pebrero umiikot na ang jeep so i had to go through the flood in shaw so i can get to acacia lane. pagdating dun walang tricycle...a lot of trees were uprooted and lying in the street. so shempre dahil nasira ang payong ko nung umaga...had to walk all the way home. had to do it on foot kse nga madaming baha akong dinaanan.

it was a disaster talaga. pagdating ng bahay i had to take a bath in the dark. after getting dressed nakatulog talaga ako agad sa sobrang pagod. pag ganon ang weather di ko na uulitin toh. i'd rather stay home than take the risk of going through that again.

on a positive note, i'm at work and walang network. i mean walang email and sap. kaya eto petiks!

to add to the wet chic yesterday. i must say that i was really scared out of my wits when while having lunch at galleria, part of the roof fell off due to the strong rain and winds. people were screaming and the guards kept blowing their whistles to move people out of danger.

they closed the malls as early as 1pm. so we had to race back to the office and let our staff go home as soon as possible safe with their families. my work area is in the corner of poveda and edsa. i am surrounded with glass. so i had to evacuate from my area and move to a safer place since i heard that there were broken glass in the other floors.

you can just imagine how scared i was....then i had to go through more crap going home. geezzz...

system is still down. tried reading thru some introductory html...gosh i almost lulled myself to sleep.

Nobody will symphathize with a person who constantly let chances pass by without making any effort to salvage them.

We normally don't realize how important our loved and closed ones are until they leave us, and then we start regretting, which results in misery.

Lost time is NEVER gained again.

~Prav's World