princess_bride

You don't get to break somebody's heart and still say you care about them.

princess_bride

had a very interesting discussion over breaktime with some girls at work. on bedsheet shopping. yup, didn't realize that some people can be very meticulous when it comes to choosing their bedsheets. like they consider the kind of cotton (it must be egyptian) and thread count (should be at least 750). never tried buying bedsheets in my life. all my bedsheets were gifts. well, if i'd buy one, wouldn't know how to choose. would just go for the color and the design. well, that's just me. 

on another note, i feel like a balloon...floating in the sky with no exact destination...just flying...numb. im resigned to the fact that there are things you just have to let go. kelangan ko na bitawan lahat and stop going back to the past. ang kaibahan lang siguro ng ngayon at noon...ngayon, alam ko na gagawin ko. 

tama, time heals all wounds. 

princess_bride

quite amazed at how many of us tabulas old timers are coming back to our space here. i guess we are one of those who find micro-blogging an insufficient medium to fully express our thoughts or what nots. or more often, we'd like to just rant anonymously without fear of being judged by family or friends. although i must say i have met good friends in tabulas over the years i have blogged in this space. there are times i'd like to be more careful about what i say here, i end up still writing and just tagging the entry as private so that i won't create any "issue" with whoever.

as of now, my state of mind is still in limbo. and as much as i want to rant about how i am feeling and what i am thinking, i found it better to shut my trap and just convince myself that i did the right thing. as usual, my coping mechanism is to keep myself busy. which i am successfully doing right now. and workload have contributed much to a full schedule. i am not complaining. my social life is in full blast. been keeping in touch with old friends and family during my day-offs. and also keeping up with mommy duties works wonders for my kids. 

at the end of the day, i must admit, i still feel that gaping hole in my heart. when the lights are off it can get really lonely. and all you can hold on to are the wondeful memories that once filled your heart with immense joy. you just have to stop yourself from regretting and continue to be hopeful that what you did was for the greater good. 

##############

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” (J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan)

Faith - check!
Trust - uhm, semi-check?
Pixie Dust - I have to find me some. :S

princess_bride

“How bittersweet it is, to wander a forest for years but never be able to find your way out, she mused. Ah, but getting lost is one of the most beautiful things in life, he replied. And in doing so you are finally able to find yourself.”

~ Fragment 25

princess_bride

been feeling down lately, but trying to alleviate this by doing lots of activities. sometimes it helps. sometimes...

well, i need to attract some positive mojos my way. all i need is a change of perspective. 

"But I believe good things happen everyday. I believe good things happen even when bad things happen. And I believe on a happy day like today, we can still feel a little sad. But that's life, isn't it?"

princess_bride

♫ I'm walking on sunshine, woooah....and don't it feel good!!...♪ I feel the love,I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real....I feel the love,I feel the love, I feel the love that's really real ♫

......no one and nothing can take away my sunshine! 

princess_bride

there's this place that one goes to at the end of a stressful day from work. to have a few drinks, chat with friends, or just have a quiet meal or coffee, read a book or reminisce on your own. i'd like to have that. i am bound to look for one. i need some middle ground between work and home. a place i can spend time to relax somehow. 

anyway, so many things have been happening lately on the work front. organizational changes made me report to a cluster head who is based in Malaysia. my local boss needed to focus on a different business unit so had to step up on local responsibilities. audit season is here so lots of meetings and work on that. 

and then yesterday, our Region HR called me for a short confidential meeting. wondering what it was abt, apparently the position i have been eyeing since mid of this yr was still vacant and they are considering me for the post. the issue why i wasn't that keen on applying for it was that it was SG based. i wasn't ready to leave my kids behind. but i was assured by our HR that they could do a workaround on it. so hope everything works out well.

imagine, all these things working in my favor. i must have done something good to deserve all these. God must have heard my silent pleas. what i have gone through since late last yr was an emotional rollercoaster ride. i have hardly recovered. i guess you really can't have it all. when you are unlucky in love, you are abundant in good career opportunities. so might as well bask in all the good luck coming my way.

....the secret sundowner spot...i will find soon.