"Grief makes a tunnel of our lives, and it is all too easy to lose sight of the other people in the darkness with us - to wish they weren't there, so their loss would stop rubbing up against ours." ~ From the book The Scent Keeper

The reality of this pandemic have hit close to home recently. I lost my sister in law who was a frontliner in a government hospital. She was just 44 years old. She had a 4 week battle in the ICU intubated. Honestly, we were hoping against hope that she would make it. She was a fighter and healthy. We made her promise that she does her best to get well so she can cook spaghetti for the kids.

She loves my kids like her own. She has a son but still, her love for her family was boundless. I never thought I would grieve this much from losing someone not my blood relative. Maybe because I always gave myself a deadline. Like I would be the first to go. But this hasn't happened. I kept losing loved ones, young and old. I lost both my parents already. I lost a brother in law early on. He too was close to me.

The reality of death, of the feeling that you can't reach out to them anytime you want. That you can't breathe the same air as they do. That all of them have ended pain and suffering on earth. Yet, you mourn and grieve. You cry ugly everytime you remember them and the memories they have left behind. My heart is broken and maybe time will come when the pain from losing them will also just be a memory.

I love you tol! May you rest in God's loving arms.

Currently listening to: Crossover playlist on Spotify
Currently reading: Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
Currently feeling: sad
Posted by princess_bride on September 10, 2020 at 07:46 AM | dance with me
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