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December 18, 2018

sick and tired

i am sick and tired of being sick and tired. you get what i mean? at the rate i'm going, feel ko talaga maswerte pa kung umabot ako ng 50. super blessed na kung umabot ako ng 60. no kidding! this darn diabetes is killing me slowly. =( i blame the genes....ok and the lifestyle too. had a series of tests last week and yesterday i got a text message from the hospital telling me that one came out with significant findings and i need to see my endocrinologist asap. that freaked me out.

the specific lab test was fundus photo. it had something to do with my vision. last year it was discovered i had stage 2 retinopathy. now it looks like it got worse. when left untreated it could lead to blindness. ang dami na pumasok sa isip ko. how about my work? how about my family? how about my reading? i love books! how about my kdrama addiction? as in my mind is messed up right now. and i just feel so alone and helpless. i don't think people around me know how serious this is. and ayoko magpaka-pa importante. so as long as i can do this on my own, i will.

so that's one. another is peripheral neuropathy, the Doctor said initial findings is my nerves are damaged. and yes it's another complication of having diabetes for 17 years. i feel pins and needles and stabbing pain on my legs and fingers and the past months it's getting worse. i have sleepless nights because of this. i honestly think para akong nauupos na kandila. seryoso!

last is my heart...yes this wounded heart. ang drama ano? pero truth be told, my Cardiologist is doing his best and making me go thru a lot of tests before doing an angiogram on me. and i'm scared as hell. i lost my Uncle a few years ago and my Mom just this year because of diabetes complications. and the heart was the main culprit. don't know how to be strong anymore. a lot of people are depending on me to be strong. i keep this brave front but inside i'm falling apart.

please pray for me.

{ mood } scared

Written by princess_bride at 08:37 AM.

6 danced with me

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Comment posted on January 12th, 2019 at 09:23 AM
take care!
i'll be praying for you :)
Comment posted on January 14th, 2019 at 07:49 AM
thanks girl. =)
Comment posted on January 8th, 2019 at 10:21 AM
gurl, ingat ka.. eat healthy, sleep well. ;)

you're in my prayers.
Comment posted on January 8th, 2019 at 11:10 AM
thank you. =)
Comment posted on January 7th, 2019 at 11:52 AM
Sure, I will include you in my prayers. God bless you.
Comment posted on January 7th, 2019 at 12:40 PM
thank you. appreciate it. God bless you too.
"Smile like you've never cried, Fight like you never lost, Love like you've never been hurt, And live like you'll die tomorrow."


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