princess_bride

"Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning" ~ Gloria Steinem

I dreamt of you. We are both with our significant others. We just had a chance to reconnect. And I woke up with a happy heart. I know you are in a happy place too. Kahit sa panaginip lang kita nakita, masaya na ako.

princess_bride

I have been recently working towards making sure I am properly managing my health issues. I am diabetic, I have a heart condition, and I am hypertensive. All these were unfortunately passed on genetically from both sides (maternal and paternal) So been seeing a lot of Doctors recently, up until November came and my Mom had a heart attack. I was supposed to be scheduled for an angiogram to check for any blockage in my arteries. I had to brush that aside to take care of my Mom.

It have been a scary ride. She was confined in the ICU for 5 days and then regular hospital room for 3 days. She went through angiogram, angioplasty and two sessions of dialysis. After a week, back again at the hospital due to water in her lungs. Hopefully, she gets discharged tomorrow as the recent xray show full regression. Now I'm afraid it's my turn. I have gone through a lot in the past. Two major surgeries, one for my adrenal gland and another to remove one kidney. Now the heart is a different matter. And I am scared to go through what my Mom went through.

I have always thought that my Mom will outlive me and not the other way around. She was always conscious about her health and careful on what she eats. So it was really a big shock to us that she went through this ordeal. I guess these days you can't tell who is healthy and who is not. Look at Isabel Granada, she looked so fit and in the pink of health. Who would've thought right?

I don't want to sound morbid, but I really think we all should prepare for our "end". It's reality and all of us is going towards the end of our life's journey. I want to prepare for mine....

princess_bride

I still can't believe what's happening right now. It's like I'm just having a bad dream. Please someone just wake me up...Please just wake my Mom up.

princess_bride

My family and I are facing the most difficult and painful decision in our lives. My Mom is in coma and on life support for exactly one week yesterday. I have 3 younger siblings and being the eldest it seems like the brunt of the decision making is on me. Or so I thought. We have been fighting like crazy, arguing how to move forward with Mom. 2 on 2 so we are on lockdown. Whether to proceed with trachaeostomy and putting a peg on her tummy or just pulling the plug. She has very minimal brain activity and have been severely damaged due to the 20 minute revival procedures done to her in the ER. She had a series of seizures and could have added up to the current brain damage she has.

Yesterday she had very minimal corneal reactions and she can slightly breathe on her own but not totally without the ventilator on her. My heart is very weak as it is. I cannot keep this combative state with my sisters if I want to live longer. I just pray now for discernment and for peace in our hearts. May we make the best decision for my Mom. May God continue to perform His daily miracles. Whatever is good in His perfect time.