"...Not forgiving needs to be reconceived. It is not an avoidance of forgiveness or a retreat into paranoia, but a legitimate action in itself, with its own progression, motivation and justification. There are many circumstances in which it is the proper and most emotionally authentic course of action."

I had the strangest dream last night of making peace with an estranged friend. It is not in my nature to bear grudges for a long period of time. Mabilis ako magpatawad or magpakumbaba sa mga pagkakasala ko. To err is human after all. But I don't make it an excuse to make mistakes. Instead I make conscious effort not to hurt others kasi ayoko din masaktan. 

The thing with this specific friend is, she just detached herself from the friendship. Leaving me wracking my brains for any reason for her doubtful behavior. The sad thing is she's the godmother of my youngest kid. Minsan gusto ko na lang isoli ang kandila para matapos na ang lahat. Pero hindi ganon ang style ko.

We work in the same organization, we cross paths once or twice. I have even sent her an email to let her know that we are working again for the same Company. And all these reaching out efforts turned out futile. Nakakapagod din kasi lalo na alam ko deep in my heart that what we shared before will always be special. Well, to me na lang siguro.

Its just weird for me to dream about her. It was so real. We were hugging and laughing...when I woke up I was sad it was just a dream. Because the truth of the matter is, I miss her. She was a good friend to me not so long ago.

So here's a simple message for you Cheng: Andito lang ako kung maalala mo ulit na magkaibigan tayo. Nasasaktan ako sa mga ginagawa mo ngayon pero ang dasal ko lang ginagawa mo lahat yan for a valid reason. I wish you all the best in your life. Sa ngayon, aaminin ko may sama ako ng loob sayo. Because you keep on rejecting me. Pero sino ba naman ako para magtanim ng galit. Ang Diyos nga marunong magpatawad diba? Ako pa? Kung dadating ang panahon na nangailangan ka ng kaibigan, you know where to reach me, andito lang ako.