"If you're not afraid
Of what love brings
Then endings are beginnings
Of beautiful things
Its a chance you'll take
It's a chance you'll win
If someone gonna find you
First you gotta let them in

Coz love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over
Now its easy letting go....."

for someone who has been hurt, lied to, played with...its kind of hard to believe how a simple hello can bring you back to the very situation you've protected yourself from being in.

i have tried my best to forget the past. to the point of not talking about it on my blog. i have even erased numbers from my phonebook even from my own memory to avoid the stupid circle that i always get myself into.

i tried living a secluded life by shunning away from my social life. immersing myself in work, household chores and my kids. i was getting comfortable with this lifestyle. but i have to admit that it was getting a bit lonely.

still, inspite of this feeling i managed to keep away from communicating with people that i am sure would ruin my uncomplicated life.

although i've kept in touch (at arms length) with them. it was just that. treasuring what was shared in the past. it was a firm resolve not to "refresh" the past coz its just that...the past.

until a call a few days ago that somehow created this possibility that i might be going into something i am not really ready for. it took the guy the risk of one hello to open me up. it must be the cold night or the empty feeling that made me return that hello.

well, its just a possibility really at this point. but the uneasy feeling at the pit of my stomach whenever we talk is scaring me out of my wits. i keep telling myself that i should learn from my past. i should be careful and make things right this time.

tsk tsk tsk....."One hello is how it starts. You might really love or lose your heart"