ever since i was diagnosed with an adrenalin disorder...it seems that my world has stopped revolving. everything was put on hold. career moves...heart issues...family life....it's like a red light turning yellow...without the green lamp. heck isn't that unnerving?

i'm afraid i'm losing touch. relationships falling apart. friendships unnurtured. family squabbles remain unresolved. career advancement on hold due to my ailment. what's happening to me? did i try too much to make things work. should i have let nature take its own course...

i always have this fear of not seeing tomorrow, fear of rejection, fear of being unlovable, fear of solitude. i know i worry too much most of the time. my body cannot handle enough stress like any normal person should. if don't get to see tomorrow...i hope i be remembered as a good friend....a great mom....a responsible daughter. or am i? am i????