princess_bride

I just remembered I celebrated my 5th year in my current employer last February. And as the adage says, it was a roller coaster ride. I had to deal with a few difficult personalities but was able to pull through. I was doing different work from what I was used to. And the environment was different as I was reporting to a boss who was not familiar with my line of work. It was a tough few years. And then I got involved in a project which I lead. Then skilled up to be an ISO auditor.

Being part of the global leadership team of this specific business unit has a lot of challenges. And it seems like you are constantly trying to evolve to keep up. One, most of our headcount are essential because of legal requirements but the business doesn't seem to see value in what we do....that is until COVID. Now they realize how the team is bare skin and bones due to the transformation over the years.

And then I was transferred just recently to a new boss. They have expanded my role and now a member of 2 global leadership teams. It was supposed to be a promotion until COVID. Everyone now is trying to be wise with managing financials. I won't complain. As long as I have a job since I have to support my family now being the sole bread winner. Tough times indeed. The new normal. (hate that term)

Still adjusting with the new organization. Had webex calls with the other managers to learn about the operations on their specific geographies. I honestly am quite unsure about things now. I just feel like after all the effort of learning the ropes of my prev org now I need to adjust and learn again. Again, shouldn't be complaining really. Just scared of the uknown I guess.

There is a lot of uncertainty all around. It gets me anxious. I try to be more mindful and resilient. I got to survive this.

princess_bride

So ok, I have mentioned about having a new boss and an expanded role. We already had a few 1:1 calls and sometimes I feel like he is just too good to be true. He is so professional and kind and nice. I wasn't expecting it. My ex boss prepped me and told me to be on my toes as my new boss was known to be straight forward, frank and can be ruthless. But so far I haven't felt that way. He is conscious of my work time. Although we still have evening calls (can't help that, he is in the US) But everytime we end the call he'd say for me to go to sleep and stop working so late. hahaha

He always tells me that I am still in the learning curve and not to pressure myself to deliver anything as he understands that I am new to the role and that I need to adjust. His expectation is for me to learn and observe in preparation for fall plan and transformation strategies for next year. Sometimes I wonder do I deserve this? I guess I was just used to feeling left out before working amongst Doctors, Nurses, Safety Professionals that it took time for me to blend. I am the only finance person in the team reporting to the Director who is a Doctor. So imagine my struggle to always find ways to prove that even with a different background I can help with global strategies and improving process flows. It worked towards the end and then I was transferred.

I feel like my previous role was in a tough working environment. Those who shine in my boss' eyes were all in the medical field. And no matter how hard you work, it will never be enough. I never felt this in my previous employers. I have always been my boss' favorite. Not because I kiss ass, but because I work extra hard. Yet all of them have the same background as  I do. In accounting and finance. So yeah maybe there's that. I really don't know. I hope it's different this time. It's still the same although the team have more generic backgrounds as I am part of the bigger umbrella of the organization.

I hope it's different. And while I am here, while I still try to blend yet again, I will just dance.