"Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away into the next room,
I am I and you are you;
Whatever we were to each other, That we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used,
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we shared together.
Let my name ever be the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant,
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well."
-Henry Scott Holland

it may be a bit morbit to discuss abt death at this time of the year. however, that is reality. it happens at the most unexpected moment. tomorrow will be the 1st yr death anniversary of my dad. so much has happened since then. relationships were broken, some were mended, others were left as they were before.

one thing is certain, he is not around to visit me anymore. to hug me or call me at work. the nearest i can get to him is through my dreams. it is not often that i get to remember them. but whenever it was abt him it was as real as my tears when i wake up in the middle of the night. i'd sob my way going back to sleep. i miss him.

i'm going home dad, to say my last goodbyes. yes, i will be there when a mass is offered for you. i will travel a hundred miles or so to be near your lifeless body buried in soft soil. i will light up another candle and silently pray for your eternal rest.

you will never be out of my mind. your memory shall live in my heart forever. i love you daddy.