i find it interesting to be able to interpret dreams. but i haven't really read any material to pursue this interest. though i believe that there's something about dreams that we should really look into. they maybe things of the past or the present, or even a premonition of the future. even the wildest and weirdest dream could mean or represent something.

haven't seriously thought about it until something that happened in my past started with a really weird dream that i have laughed off as just a weird occurence. it wasn't my dream anyway, but looking back, i realize how much it represents what was about to happen to me that time. i wish i had that gift... the gift to understand dreams. it could've saved me from the stuff i went through that time. well, maybe not.... things do happen for a reason. right now, the only reason i can think of is that its just something to make me a stronger person.

cliche really. but as vague as things were left behind that time...i have no other choice but to grope for something more solid... like groping for a ladder from the bottom of a deep well. maybe that's why i am as interested in knowing what really happened or is happening. not that i want to dwell on the past. its just more of understanding myself, the others and the situation as well. i guess its not the right time. i hope the right moment to understand things will come soon. it might heal me... heal the wound the past has left behind.

its been more than 5 mos... i wish it wasn't anything special. i could've just thrown the memories away. but then again, it isn't my nature... i'm being too sensitive, too emotional, too sentimental. that's just how i am. maybe that's the problem... i think i should learn to - "not be me". sighhh...