last night i was kind of in a nostalgic mood. i dunno, i just can't help it. kept in touch with a friend. not for anything else, just to ask how things were. i think i was misunderstood. i don't have any intention of bringing up the past or even sourgraping about it. i have moved on...i was just trying to be a friend that's all.  i just can't say the right words at times. verbose person that i am. geezzz i am kind of disappointing last night really...

i sorted things out for awhile. and i have accepted the truth abt things in the past. yeah, its painful how some people can get so insensitive without meaning so. well, that's just some facts of life i need to deal with. i think i have to bear the greater weight of the blame. been too stupid and blind abt my feelings. can't understand why it happens to me so often. maybe its gets awhile for me to learn. slow siguro?

sometimes..in the process of my healing..i wonder what could be wrong with me? self-pity i guess...sad but it does cross my path most times. so much insecurities...so much pain to bear. i thought that being true to myself would help a lot. but sometimes, even without effort or otherwise...it was never enough. 

i shouldn't be confused. i should know what to do by now. its been more than two months. i just thought that saving a friendship was worth all the pain. but now, i just wonder...maybe i was not  "friend" material after all...