who would have thought that inside this healthy-looking physique i am one helluva science project? i have stones in my kidneys, a lump in my adrenal gland, persistent hypertension and hypokalimia, mild RHD and diabetes. i must've collected all the genetic ailments my family tree has.

i've been thinking, what if there were no doctors or lab tests or anything to find these out? (i can just imagine our ancestors, how could they survive the harsh realities such as this thing called "sickness"?) chances are...i'd have a shorter life span. chances are...i wouldn't live to see my children grow up. chances are...i wouldn't be able to experience love again.

if one can look inside my head...you could see this topsy-turvy brain of mine. overthinking...overanalyzing...overfeeling. i just wish i could get this over and done with. my hormones are going beserk and i'm tired of waiting.