Tenderness (Noun) - gentleness, kindness, feelings of deep affection/ devotion

I went back in time again and reminisced. I remember someone telling me that he will always remember the tenderness between us. So which kind of tenderness was it, I wonder. Gentleness? Kindness? Feelings of deep affection/ devotion. Hmmm one word with multiple meanings. Well, I have to admit he had a tendency to be ambiguous. Not sure why. I mean, when want to be understood, wouldn't you want to be straightforward? 

Anyway, just wanted to go back on the beautiful memories for now. Because that is all I have. (And the painful ones too, but I don't want to dwell on those). What else do I remember and memories that I tend to go back often? Ahh, you said you missed me one time. How can I forget? It was a text message I got out of the blue. I was letting you go that time. I had to stand my ground. It is selfish for me to stay and it is painful for me to see that someone else is already getting your attention. So before you break my heart again....I let you go. 

I don't know if you remember, we were eating one time and you were looking forward to places you would take me to. The one in Ortigas was one...to eat burgers. I was looking forward to it. But I guess we didn't get that far. Ah, also, one time we were having late lunch, you served me my meal (that was pasta in a restaurant in Trinoma). I love how it feels like you were taking care of me. But was too scared to misinterpret it. I said to myself, you were just being nice. 

And the best part would be our intimate moments without any labels or anything. We just needed a warm body to comfort us during our loneliest times I guess. For me, that's a lie. But I know even without saying it, that you were aware of the truth. But didn't want to acknowledge it. Because I will just be someone you will have an affair with and nothing more. You told me that. And it f*cking hurt. 

However, we have our own lives now. After so many years, I just can't seem to forget you. And I just have this feeling that we will never see each other again. It's sad but I think it's for the best. Naked truth? I would give anything just to see you one more time. Universe, help me please. I need closure. 

Currently listening to: noisy AC
Currently reading: The Wife Upstairs - Rachel Hawkins
Currently feeling: hopeful
Posted by princess_bride on September 24, 2021 at 10:04 PM | dance with me
Login to your account to post comment

You are not logged into your Tabulas account. Please login.