"so little time try to understand that i'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game i try to stay awake and remember my name but everybody's changing and i don't feel the same" ~ keane

all keyed up in anticipation...and then dousing your spirits in frustration. you ask yourself what is it that you want of this? i don't know maybe some hint that you were somehow needed....a different matter from the rejection you were very familiar with from the start. after all this time, you still don't get it. still clueless and oblivious to the truth. it still is not the same thing you have painted in your mind. you felt used and abused. it was your choice to be stupid anyway. you think its about time to get mad and push it away.

you feel numb. too much pain? regret maybe? or too much hatred .... hating yourself for all the stupidity. the buck has to stop here. you have to stop believing that the admiration and the feeling is still there. it was all shallow...skin deep. it was nothing...you were nothing. not even a dot in history. pathetic. there are no answers. there never will be. so just let it go.

years has passed....things changed....people change. everybody's changing....and maybe you did too.