i've been getting sick quite a lot these days. it seems like my body's defense mechanism is getting weak. i was hoping with all the medication i'm taking it could somehow build up some kind of protection. and yet i seem to be getting the virus every two weeks. crazy!

i've been seeing my doctor's again recently. had to go back to my endocrinologist to control my blood sugar. did a quick test just for the heck of it and found out that my blood sugar count is 500. way above the normal 120. did it everyday and it was pretty consistent. hence the decision to see my doctor.

true enough, i have uncontrolled type 2 diabetes. this i know way back but never took it seriously. until recently, when my urine infection was uncurable. the urinalysis said a lot. it was really infected and the bad part was it has sugar in it already. which means my kidneys are already being damaged by my diabetes.

my endo had the rest of my organs checked. everything was sound except for my left kidney where after 3 yrs the stones joined forces and is now 4cm in size. almost half the size of a kidney. i was told to go to my urologist (who operated on my adrenal gland three yrs ago) and broke the bad news that the stones cannot be shockwaved but have to be operated on.

scary, of all the things that i should go through alone this is what i fear the most. my last surgery was not a pleasant memory. at least i had someone on my side to take care of me. but now? well, first things first...i have to finish this critical project at work which will end in july. after that....then its time to freak out.....heheheh

a ct scan this sat will tell my urologist the real situation inside me. he said he might have to reduce or remove my left kidney completely. i hope he can save it though. my insides are slowly being taken out...eeewwww.

i can't understand why i have to be subjected to all this physical suffering. i'm getting tired of it. my doctors been taking notes on my predicament. and mind you its on their special notebook and not on my medical file. hah! a great science project....i had conn's syndrome (the adrenal mass), i have asthma, diabetes, contolled hypertension (ewan basta automatic na lang naging normal...hehehe), a stone on my left kidney, and name the disease i almost have it all in my genes.

i am ranting again. i have to focus more on the good stuff. on making the choice to live and endure all these suffering. i have done it before, i can do it again. my only prayer is ...Lord pls send someone with a good and patient soul to watch over me. yun lang masaya na ako. and thank you for the days that i live and breathe. for all the blessings salamat. for the friends who greeted me on my bday...bless them all. Amen!
Currently listening to: the best you never had - leona lewis
Currently feeling: sick
Posted by princess_bride on June 5, 2008 at 08:15 PM | 6 danced with me
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Comment posted on June 10th, 2008 at 03:02 AM
God makes you go through this because He knows you are strong enough to get through all this triumphantly and be an inspiration to other people.

Sis, basta lang about your health, don't procrastinate ha!

Take care always! We haven't met face to face yet but I do really care for you.
Comment posted on June 10th, 2008 at 03:44 PM
thanks sis *hugs*
Comment posted on June 9th, 2008 at 09:26 AM
mare, belated happy b! form one diabetic to another: sweetness is in our blood:) so there. kaya mo yan!
Comment posted on June 10th, 2008 at 03:44 PM
thanks mare. hahaha apir tayo. ;-)
Comment posted on June 6th, 2008 at 12:06 PM
heya... get well soon, i hope its not as serious as i understand it, its kinda worrying... belated happy birthday, sorry been hooked up with my province adventure and not have been a supportive friend. sniff.
Comment posted on June 6th, 2008 at 01:39 PM
yeah, in denial pa ako. kaya ayoko muna isipin. ;-) i'm sure i will manage. ako pa! :-)

thanks for remembering though. cliche as it may sound, its the thought that counts.