maybe i took him for granted because i was complacent he was always around. because after he left i feel like i'm falling into this bottomless black pit. i don't have the energy to do anything anymore. i lost appetite in almost everything i do. gym, work, even waking up in the morning is such an effort for me.

unconsciously, i became dependent on him. we practically changed roles in our family. i used to be the breadwinner and he was the one who took care of the kids and managed the household. deep inside i must have resented the changing of roles. and i took his role for granted just because of this.

only to realize how important his part was to the family....to me. 13 yrs of married life + 6 yrs of bf-gf relationship. we've gone through a roller coaster ride in our relationship. kept each other at arms-length for a time. got separated for awhile when he was assigned in cebu. it really wasn't heaven at all.

and now this....i have so much to be thankful for having him around. i didn't realize how much i still love him. when you are married this long you sometimes take these things for granted. especially if you have emotional baggages you tend to give importance to.

i know i should be happy and thankful for the blessings that are rushing through. most of all i know i should be thankful for having you as my husband. in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty....i will be true to my promise...i will stick with you till the end. i love you bebeng!

now God help me get thru this pls.