i know this is such a juvenile kind of thing. however, what the heck i just want to express how i feel. i am well aware of my age and i feel that i should be so beyond this. eh ganon eh. i admire someone from work. sige i will use the teenager term "crush".

maybe the reason i didn't want to talk abt it was because i felt it was wrong. somehow deep inside, i knew something was not right. i think i've mentioned him a few months ago. he's the one with intials AAN. he is tall dark and uhmmm...not that handsome. promise hindi sya gwapo talaga. pero he has this certain aura that draws me to him like magnet.

putek parang bata diba? kahit ako di ko maintindihan why and how. basta i admire him...from afar. actually, i started noticing him abt August last year. i was broken and was trying to pick up the pieces so maybe that was the reason why i had to have some kind of inspiration so to speak.

our units interacted often however it was our staff that did most of the communication. we both get involved only during sensitive issues. so we hardly had the chance to talk that often. ang hirap grabe. kasi i felt i had to learn more about him but then again thought otherwise as i didn't want to give anybody the wrong impression.

well, anyway, to cut the long story short - we do text often, and call each other every now and then to discuss business issues. but other than that - parang we have a silent understanding not to pursue even the friendship as we might fall into something we will regret later on.

i don't know. i told you i'm too old for this. sometimes it is just so frustrating to like somebody but you cannot do anything about it. and what hurts the most is knowing that its not a one-sided deal. sayang diba? howell, sometimes life sucks talaga!