as my natal day nears, the feeling of loneliness becomes more profound. there is this void inside me that cannot be filled. i still mourn for the loss of my dad. and my mom and my sisters turned against me because of things my dad forgot to take care of when he was alive. i feel so much like an orphan. its really depressing.

today i learned from our VP that my boss resigned yesterday. she just sent an email to inform them of this decision. i was shocked when i learned about it this morning. i was looking forward to her coming back so i could be relieved from being OIC of our department. after two months of taking in all the stress, i just felt i needed a break.

apparently, i am considered for the position. i don't know if its something to rejoice about. i was looking forward more to my de-stress opportunity. well, maybe it just isn't sinking in yet. wow, being the official boss to manage a department. hmmm....i am gripped by fear of not being able to do my job as expected. although i did pretty well as OIC. i don't know if i can handle it as a regular job right now. 

i have so much to be thankful for. i should just count my blessings. and whatever it is that will come, i pray i be given the strength to persevere.