a friend once made a comment why i was quiet the past few days, was it because of having someone again in my life. that got me thinking, i was silent due to a lot of things actually. sometimes i feel like i'm caught in between a dream and reality. ever since i lost my dad i can't seem to get a grip of real life. so much has been going on. complications on the things he left behind.

being the eldest, it was by default a new burden on my shoulders right now. and i can't seem to think straight on how to deal with all of these. i am a naturally peaceful being, and i never imagined myself to get entangled in this mess. sometimes, i just wanna give up...to hell with all these material things. i don't want to care anymore....but then again, i still have a younger sister who is currently taking up Law and who needs support right now...and a 6 year old half-sister that i'm sure my mom wouldn't welcome in our lives.

its difficult as it is...what makes it more complicated is my dad has 12 other siblings who seem to be united in leaving my mom out in my dad's estate. can i just say this? it's just money...what's the big deal, why do they want to fight about it? i can't dig the issue of being the rightful heirs. i just want everything to be done in a peaceful manner. and when things turn to worse...i will just have to drop everything off. i simply don't want to deal with this. i have enough issues already in my life...sighhh....i wish it was that easy.

as for the someone special in my life...i don't want to talk about it...i'm taking things as it comes. i am being careful with my heart this time. "walking on eggs" careful. i think if there's one thing i am happy about...it is the fact that my three kids are happy. and for me that is what really matters.

Currently listening to: unbreakable - alicia keys
Currently feeling: stressed and tired
Posted by princess_bride on January 31, 2006 at 10:17 AM | dance with me
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