after my dad's demise, i felt time stop. i wanted desperately to live in the past. i've caught myself often staring into space rummaging my thoughts of what has been and what might have been. letting go is really something i'd never get used to. i badly want to hug  and kiss my dad one more time. but somehow, i feel that wherever he is right now, he is happy.

ironically, some good things came about after what happened. a lot of broken relationships were reconciled. maybe brought about by the realization that every second counts. we can lose people we love so swiftly, sometimes we hardly have the time to say goodbye.  i still cry everyday, but i believe that everything happened for a reason. in His grand plan in our lives, losing people we love is part of it. pain and hurt are reminders for us to treasure our life and our loved ones.  

and in my darkest hours, i began to realize those people who sincerely love and care for me. people, i haven't even given a time of day in the past. some have caused me so much pain and suffering. some were just misunderstood. i have learned to welcome them in my life once again. i have opened my heart, learned to forgive, humbly apologized for my own mistakes.

if there was one person who was constantly there for me - it was my hubby. i am just happy that after a long time, we decided to work things out. maybe i'm just vulnerable, i don't know. i just know that i need someone right now. and if it means giving us another chance to love again, i'll do it. the beginning of things for me to look forward to. my life goes on...

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Gandhi

Currently listening to: butterfly kisses - bob carlisle
Currently feeling: working
Posted by princess_bride on January 24, 2006 at 08:15 PM | 8 danced with me
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Your Name (guest)

Comment posted on January 28th, 2006 at 09:46 PM
wow,am happy to read it also,sana magkatuluyan,,,,,,we have the same feelings when my mother leave us abruptly,but sabi mo nga life has to move on,though am still praying until now na makausap ko sya,nde pa rin nangyayari,,,,,rac
Comment posted on January 30th, 2006 at 07:28 AM
hahaha...a-tapang a-tao ah. gusto mo makakita ng ghost....freakkyyy...ako okey na siguro sa dreams pero makausap ang dad ko in real life na tipong multuhin ako. di yata kaya yun ng powers ko. :-(

MAGIcAL (guest)

Comment posted on January 25th, 2006 at 09:05 PM
am sure, 3 kids are shouting "YES!" :-D
Comment posted on January 25th, 2006 at 10:37 PM
sinabi mo pa. ;-)
Comment posted on January 25th, 2006 at 12:32 PM
wow!!!

i hope everything work out well for you!!! i'm just so optimistic for 2006 :)
Comment posted on January 25th, 2006 at 05:36 PM
yeah, me too.

well, although the year didn't start right i am also hoping for the best for this year. ;-)
Comment posted on January 24th, 2006 at 10:52 PM
beautiful blessing for 2006! well said sis.
Comment posted on January 25th, 2006 at 08:19 AM
i know sis. thanks. *hugs* mishu.